Best jokes ever

Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.
has 69.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, death, old people, Yo mama
Teacher: Where are the Great Plains located? Tommy: At the great airports!
has 69.84 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: school
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke...? "It's open."
has 69.83 % from 507 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock, life
Marriages are made in Heaven – but then again, so are thunder and lightning.
has 69.82 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: marriage
My Chinese friend got really sick one day and had to go to a hospital. I went to see him the next day, but he just kept whispering "Chun Yu Yan" over and over – and then died. I was very sad and googled his last message after the burial. Apparently, it means "You're standing on my oxygen tube."
has 69.80 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, death, hospital
A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
has 69.79 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: "Purebred Police Dog $25." Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned the man who had placed the ad, "How dare you call that mangy-mutt a purebred police dog?" "Don't let his looks deceive you, ma'am," the man replied, "He's in the Secret Service."
has 69.79 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
has 69.78 % from 208 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
has 69.77 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, mexican, racist
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
has 69.74 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
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