Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.
The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.
The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying this time.
"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
A golfer tried three straight times to hit a golf ball over the inlet of water between him and the green.
But each time the ball splashes into the drink.
In utter frustration the golfer said, "Caddie, take my clubs on in, I'm going to jump into the water and drown myself."
The caddie replied, "I doubt that, sir. You couldn't keep your head down long enough to drown!"
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
Vote:
Three women sitting in a bar having a drink.
Their boyfriends are all named Georgie.
One day they decide to name their boyfriends after softdrinks to tell the difference between them.
The first one says "I'll name mine 7-up because he's seven inches and always up."
The second one says "I'll name mine MOUNTAIN DEW because he likes to mount and do me."
And the third one says "I'll name mine Jack Daniels."
The others say "Hey!
That's not a softdrink that's a hard licker!".
She says "That's My Georgie!!"
Yo Momma soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!
Where do homeless accountants live?
In a tax shelter.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is like a blimp: a huge spectacle that's full of gas.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.