Best jokes ever

When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
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Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
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Q: Do you know the most favourite play of gays? A: Romeo and Julius.
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Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
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I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, "I love you". She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking" I said, "It's me...I'm talking to the beer"!
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"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
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The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
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Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
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My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
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Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris