Best jokes ever

Man goes to the doctors and sayes "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !" Doctor replies "Do you drink much ?" Man says "no, I spill most of it !"
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, doctor
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, car, time, Yo mama
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beer, blonde
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
A 21-year-old is hired by a hardware store. He shows up for his first day of work at 8 AM sharp. The boss welcomes him, then hands him a broom. "First, sweep out the store. Then I'll show you where the window cleaning equipment is." "Sir," the young man protests. "You can't be serious. I'm a college graduate." "Oh, sorry," says the manager, pointing to the broom. "No problem. I can show you how that thing works."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, insulting, management, work
Sorry, I'm late. I was trying to think of ways to get out of this.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean
Two friends were walking through the woods when they thought they heard something. They turned around and saw a big black bear coming towards them. Both men started to run when one of them stopped to change into tennis shoes. The second man said "You don't have time to change shoes. You can't outrun that bear!" The first man said, "I know I can't outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you"!
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, friendship
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dog
A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.” “Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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