When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through."
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
Q: Do you know the most favourite play of gays? A: Romeo and Julius.
Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
I was out for a drink with the wife last night and I said, "I love you". She asked me, "Is that you or the beer talking" I said, "It's me...I'm talking to the beer"!
"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson. He brought the house down.
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Superman got his powers when Chuck Norris sneezed on him.