Best jokes ever

Police are called to a home to fins man standing over the lifeless body of a woman with a five iron in his hand. The police ask, "is that your wife?" "Yes" says the man. "Did you kill her with that golf club?" "Yes" says the man sobbing and then dropping the club. "How many times did you hit her?" The man says, "five, six or seven times. But put me down for a five."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, wife
Q: What did the farmer say when he is driving down the road on a steep hill and his right front wheel falls off? A: "You picked a poor time to leave me loose wheel."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, driving, time
We should've known communism would fail. There were a lot of red flags.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: political, time
Q: What is height of forgetfulness? A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I’ll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Puff! She’s gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Puff! He’s gone. "OK, you’re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say...
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: life
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A businessman is invited for an audience with the Pope but finds it clashes with a meeting he has with Bill Gates. The businessman asks his secretary which appointment he should go to. ‘Definitely the Pope,’ replies the secretary. ‘He’ll only expect you to kiss his hand.’
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: IT
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: IT
The difference between the short and long income tax forms is simple. If you use the short form, the government gets your money. If you use the long form, the tax advisor gets your money.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money
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