Best jokes ever

What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lawyer dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says, ‘Congratulations!’ ‘Congratulations for what?’ asks the lawyer. ‘We’re celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old.’ ‘But that’s not true,’ says the lawyer. ‘I only lived to be forty.’ ‘That’s impossible,’ replies Saint Peter. ‘We’ve added up your time sheets.’
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
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has 67.86 % from 485 votes. More jokes about: black people, Fathers day, kids, sex
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: school
The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: school
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