Best jokes ever

A Twitter exchange between an angry customer and an apologetic Domino's Pizza: Customer: "Yoooo I ordered a Pizza & Came with no Toppings on it or anything, it's Just Bread" Domino's: "We're sorry to hear about this!" Customer (minutes later): "Never mind, I opened the pizza upside down :/"
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More jokes about: customer service, food, stupid, technology, time
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
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To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.
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More jokes about: business, Christmas
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
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More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game
You must keep in shape. My grandmother started walking five kilometers when she was 60 and now she's 97, and we don't have a clue where she is!
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More jokes about: age, old people, travel
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
An old couple gets pulled over and... Lady cop:"May I see you license and registration sir?" Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?" Old wife:"She needs to see you license and registration dear." The old man hands it to the lady cop and... Lady cop:"Oh, I see you are from New York. I used to have a lover from New York, he was the worst lover I ever had." Old man:"Ugh, what did she say?" Old wife:"Nothing dear, she thinks she used to know you."
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More jokes about: cop, couple, love, old people