Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father says, "We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won't be a $200 bike this year." Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he's leaving. Johnny says, "Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you tell Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and I'll be damned if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
Q: How did the hail stone describe its life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
One day Daily Mail has a article with title: "One in four cannot read." The next day one another newspaper writes: "Nice to see a newspaper finally acknowledging their audience."