Best jokes ever

Q: How do all stoner stories start? A: This one time when I was high...
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: time, weed
I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and my flawless dance moves.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: health, wine
I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: car, men, women
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday. In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment. The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex. ‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman. The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
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has 67.64 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: sex
Why did the tomato turn red? Because he saw the salad dressing.
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has 67.64 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: food
Little Johnny was in church, getting restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Not able to take it anymore, he leaned over to his father and whispered, "Hey, Dad, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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has 67.63 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, little Johnny, money, priest
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
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has 67.62 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: math
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
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has 67.62 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: Facebook
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