Your momma so fat... She can't even fit in the chat room.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Q: How did the hail stone describe its life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
One day Daily Mail has a article with title: "One in four cannot read." The next day one another newspaper writes: "Nice to see a newspaper finally acknowledging their audience."
Q: What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? A: ‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
Q: Why did the butcher get fired from his job? A: He was caught beating his meat.
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
A statistician's wife had twins. He was delighted. He rang the minister who was also delighted. "Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister. "No," replied the statistician. "Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
Chuck Norris dosent swim, water just likes him.