Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months.
The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area.
The doctors think hard about this.
They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea.
Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy.
He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
"Dad, your Father's Day gift is another year of not having to pay for my wedding."
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A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom.
The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades.
"Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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Where do milk shakes come from?
Nervous cows.
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom."
One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door.
He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away."
She says: "What about the good in bed part?"
He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
Why don't blacks have dreams anymore?
The last one who had a dream got shot.
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Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.