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John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act. He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK. Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died." David: "Doctor, he didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry."
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More jokes about: black humor, hospital, medical
Algorithm. Word used by programmers when they don't want to explain what they did.
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More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, programmer, work
A:I have the perfect son. Q:Does he smoke? A:No, he doesn't. Q:Does he drink whiskey? A:No, he doesn't. Q:Does he ever come home late? A:No, he doesn't. Q:I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? A:He will be six months old next Wednesday.
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More jokes about: age, alcohol, kids
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
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More jokes about: animal, time, travel
Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
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Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
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Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.
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The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.
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What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each others shoulders? A scrotum pole!
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Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? A: Marijuana
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More jokes about: money, weed