Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
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Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
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Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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He opens the door then turns the handle.
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Chuck Norris can break air.
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Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
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