Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris can create tornados by running around in circles.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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