Two hunters are out in the wood when one of them collapses.
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.
He gasps to the operator:"My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:"Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter seys,"Ok, now what?"
Vote:
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
2 French men and 1 French woman
2 German men and 1 German woman
2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
2 English men and 1 English woman
2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman.
One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere...
The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois".
The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.
Vote:
Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
The sailor came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife with a new born baby.
Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
"Was it my friend Sam", he demanded.
"No !" his weeping wife replied.
"Was it my friend Jim then?" he asked.
"NO !!!" she said even more upset.
"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.
"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Yo mamma so stupid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
Vote:
There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries.
God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!"
The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good."
God agreed.
Then the vampire said, "I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud."
"That seems easy enough," replied God.
"I would also like to have wings like an angel."
"OK," replied God.
Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request.
"God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?"
"Sure," replied God, "but only once a month." And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.
Vote: