Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
What did the elephant say to the nude man?
‘It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?’
Yo mamma so stupid, when I said lets hit the dance floor, she stated hitting it.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
So next time someone calls you handsome, don't take it as a compliment!
Vote:
There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries.
God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!"
The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good."
God agreed.
Then the vampire said, "I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud."
"That seems easy enough," replied God.
"I would also like to have wings like an angel."
"OK," replied God.
Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request.
"God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?"
"Sure," replied God, "but only once a month." And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.
Vote:
Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On blood vessels.
Q: What's a terrorist's favorite day in November?
A: Bomb fire night.
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player.
The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler.
Each one of US is blonde.
Think about it, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
Her feet.