Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true?
I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries!
Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
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How do you know when you honeymoon is over?
When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself.
Guy goes to his psychiatrist and says "I'm in love with my dog."
"Well that is not so unusual, millions of people love their dogs."
"But doctor, you don't understand. I'm physically attracted to my dog. I'm in love with my dog."
"Well, is your dog male or female?"
"Female, of course, what the hell do you think I am, queer?"
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
But In the end, it doesn't even matter.
Yo mama so flat, the wall is jealous of her.
Yo mama so poor the i saw her rolling a can and said what are you doing she said moving!
Even though telemarketers are slightly less beloved than dentists and tax auditors, that's the job my friend took during his summer vacation.
Halfway through one of his sales pitches, he heard a clicking at the other end of the line.
Thinking the man may have hung up, he asked, "Are you still there?"
"Yeah, still here," said the man.
"Sorry, I heard a click and I thought you'd been disconnected."
"No," the man said, "that would sound more like this."
He then proceeded to show me what it would sound like by slamming down the phone.
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Yo Momma is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant?
She charges an arm and a leg.
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