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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
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One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
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More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?" Blonde: "I don't know. Why?" Teller: "It was easier to spell." Blonde: "Easier than what?"
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Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
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If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!
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