Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Teller: "Why did the blonde move to L.A.?" Blonde: "I don't know. Why?" Teller: "It was easier to spell." Blonde: "Easier than what?"
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
If you click on start, run, then type in Chuck Norris you will get a permanent blue screen of death.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
Q: Why did the blonde fail her drivers liscence? A: She wasn't used to the front seat!