What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant?
Her feet.
Two liars were talking together:
First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night."
Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass."
First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you."
Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you.
Vote:
Q: Why are Germans bad cooks?
A: The only good one killed himself.
How do you know when you honeymoon is over?
When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown.
She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep.
She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?"
The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car.
The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Son: I can't go to school today.
Father: Why not?
Son: I don't feel so well.
Father: Where does it hurt?
Son: In school.
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park.
But In the end, it doesn't even matter.
Guy goes to his psychiatrist and says "I'm in love with my dog."
"Well that is not so unusual, millions of people love their dogs."
"But doctor, you don't understand. I'm physically attracted to my dog. I'm in love with my dog."
"Well, is your dog male or female?"
"Female, of course, what the hell do you think I am, queer?"
Your mama so ugly when god was making light he told her to step out the way.