A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption.
One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal.
The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan.
Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself.
She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son.
The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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A press release:
"Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
"What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?"
"Well, I don't know" she answers shyly.
"OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, "What are you doing?"
A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
A: Because the river was too mainstream.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.