Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Two girl sprinters are training for the 100 metres race. One says to the other: "You won't believe this, but I've just run 100 metres in 10 seconds." The other says: "But that's impossible, that's the world record." So the other says: "Ah hah, but I took a short cut."
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.