A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
"What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?"
"Well, I don't know" she answers shyly.
"OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote:
A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, "What are you doing?"
A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
Vote:
Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong.
Why?
Because a virus does something.
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote:
Q: Why did the hipster float down the tributary?
A: Because the river was too mainstream.
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
How are men like noodles?
They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
A hare-cut.
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!"
"What, you mean those square ones?"
"Yes!"
"The ones you put butter on?"
"Yes!"
"Well, that means you’re crackers!"