Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Q: What deodorant do SEO consultants wear? A: Lynx
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!" "Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?" "She's 19." "That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!" "Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
Q: What game does the brontosaurus like to play with humans? A: Squash.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."