What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
Yo Momma so fat, she's gotta wake up in sections.
You said this horse could jump as high as a ten foot fence and he can't jump at all.
Well neither can a fence!
Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical?
They have strong internal controls.
Vote:
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees
The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.
"You've given me one too many" I said.
"That one is a freebie"
A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets!
Vote:
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.