A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
Again, she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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What do you call a bunch of mexicans getting stoned?
Baked beans.
Yo' Mama's head is so big, she dreams in IMAX.
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To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice.
To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
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Joke has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, old people