Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Vote:
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Yo' Mama's head is so big, she dreams in IMAX.
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Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm."
"Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?"
"I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"