Best jokes ever

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food, health
Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mommas so stupid she failed a survey.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Just the thought of using Chuck Norris in a war is considered a terrible crime against humanity.
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has 66.24 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, war
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention. "If I gave you 20," she began, "and you gave 5 to Mary, 5 to Sally and 5 to Susan, what would you have?" Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
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has 66.23 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
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has 66.22 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: school
Girl: “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” Mother: “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” Girl: “My homework.”
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: school
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde. He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line. But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k. He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date. The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt. So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn. The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A little boy was so exited because his mom told him he is getting a baby brother. He repeated that to his techer every day, when he came to school, "Im getting a brother." One day his mom alllowed him to feel the baby's kicks in her belly. The next day he came to school and didnt say anything to his teacher, so the teacher asked him, what happend to his brother. He replyed, "I think mommy ate him."
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, school, teacher
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