Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Vote:
How do you start a Jewish parade?
Throw a penny down main street.
Yo' Mama's head is so big, she dreams in IMAX.
Vote:
Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
Is Lady Gaga wonder woman because we all wonder if she's a woman?
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm."
"Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?"
"I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice.
To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.