A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
Again, she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Vote:
A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives:
1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident.
2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident.
3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience.
I'll take the lawyers heart.
After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient:
"Why did you choose the lawyers heart?"
"Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
Q: What does an SEO and part-time chiropractor work on?
A: Your bad backlinks.
To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice.
To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
Yo' Mama's head is so big, she dreams in IMAX.
Vote: