Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.
I have to be honest, I am English myself but some of the American jokes on this site just completely ruin it for me.
I mean, what the shit happened on the ninth of November anyway?
Vote:
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill and said, "Hey, where’ve you been? I haven’t seen you around here much."
The twenty answered, "I’ve been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship, back to the United States for awhile, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"
The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff… church, church, church." essories for it.
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home.
The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window.
After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair.
Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up.
Again, she starts to tilt to the other side.
The nurses rush back to put her upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?"
"It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic?
Cause asshole is always in front of you.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
Grass is green,
trees are greener.
When I think of you,
I play with my wiener.
Vote:
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient.
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.