When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? A: Around the cluck!
Yo' Mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Yo' Mama is like a bag of chips: Fri-to-lay.
A couple was touring the capitol in Washington, DC, and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman as the congressional chaplain. The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?" The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at both houses of Congress, then prays for the country!"