Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
Every night I play a game called "Should I pee or can I hold it till morning".
I'm tired 8 days a week.
"Backspace key"... hiding feelings since ages.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
Mortal Kombat was originally called 'Ways Chuck Norris Can Kill You'.
All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits.