Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
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Bob the Builder asks if we can fix it, Chuck Norris already did.
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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