Best jokes ever

Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher? A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: teacher, vulgar
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a Nintendo GameCube and turned it into a Gameboy.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: fat, game, Yo mama
Life is all about mind and matter - I don't mind and You don't matter...
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: life
There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please. The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions. The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence. The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have? The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have? The lady said potat. Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuck out of onions what do you have? "But there's no fuck in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: military, war
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do you call a bunch of mexicans getting stoned? Baked beans.
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has 66.08 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: racist
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
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has 66.08 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
A Liverpool docker went to South Africa for a job. The boss tells him, "Its people like you we want here. Here's a test. There's a revolver, go out and shoot 6 niggers and a rabbit." The docker asks, "Why do I have to shoot the rabbit?" He got the job.
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has 66.07 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: racist
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