Best jokes ever

Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: military, war
There was once a lady making a stew for dinner when she found she had no onions,so with no time to waste she raced to the shops, burst in saying could i have some onions please. The shopkeeper replied sorry lady we are fresh out of onions. The lady said but i really need onions and gave all the reasons why in one big sentence. The shopkeeper said look lady,I`ll put it to you another way and continued to ask her- if you take the o from tomato what do you have? The lady said tomat,Yes said the man and if you take the o from potato what do you have? The lady said potat. Yes said the man behind the counter,now if you take the fuck out of onions what do you have? "But there's no fuck in onions",said the lady,Yes said the man, That's what I have been trying to tell you!"
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An old couple decide to get married after years of courting. They sit down to discuss the marriage arrangements and the prospective bridegroom brings up the subject of sex. ‘Oh dear,’ says his aging fiancée. ‘As far as sex goes I’d have to say, infrequently.’ ‘Pardon?’ replies the bridegroom. ‘Was that one word or two?’
Vote:
has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q:What's black on top of white? A: Rape Q:What's white on top of black? A: Society
Vote:
has 66.05 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: racist
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote:
has 66.04 % from 305 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
Vote:
has 66.01 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Little Johnny: Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries! Father: Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!”
Vote:
has 65.98 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, marriage
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Vote:
has 65.97 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
How are black people and wolves similar? They both fight in packs.
Vote:
has 65.97 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist
<<<464465466467
More jokes →
Page 464 of 1427.