Yo momma so fat when she saw a bus she said come back Twinkie.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
What did God say when he made the first black man?
"Damn, I burnt one."
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
"Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?"
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
Vote:
You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.