Yo momma so fat when she saw a bus she said come back Twinkie.
Yo momma is so fat when she sat on da toilet it said here's a carrot and a diet coke.
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises?
A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?
Johny came crying.
Dad: "What happened?"
Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out."
Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?"
Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
Vote:
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?"
Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1."
Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit."
Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead."
Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Vote:
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads, "Cheese sandwich: 0.99; Chicken sandwich: 1.50; H*ndjob: 20.00."
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, the man walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three hot waitresses.
"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile.
"Can I help you?"
"I was wondering," whispers the man.
"Are you the one who gives the h*ndjobs?"
"Yes," she purrs.
"Indeed I am."
The man replies, "Well, go and wash your hands. I want a cheese sandwich!"