What are the small bumps around women’s nipples? It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.
What do you call a nigger with no arms, and no legs? Trustworthy.
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem. Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space. They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass. Russia used a pencil.
What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room? 100 people that don''t do dick!
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.