Best jokes ever

Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, phone, technology
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school? A: Bison.
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off. They all jump at the same time. Which one landed last? The blonde because she asked for directions.
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, kids, new year, sex
A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde
One day Dick Cheney, George Bush and Laura Bush were in a private jet going to France. Then, George Bush said, " If i throw this hundred dollar bill off this jet I'll make one person happy!" Then Dick Cheney said, " Man if i throw ten, ten dollar bills down, I'll make ten people happy!" Then Laura Bush said, " If I throw one hundred one dollar bills off this jet I'll make a hundred people happy." Then the pilot said, " Man, if I throw these 3 losers outta this jet, I'll make six billion people happy."
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, political, travel