Q: How did the elephant destroy the database?
A: His truncate it.
Man visits India and meets an old man in the town square who is renowned for his elephantine memory.
He asks the old man what he had for breakfast on the same day 15 years back.
"Eggs," replies the old man, the man scoffs at this saying everyone has eggs for breakfast and walks away.
Ten years later he returns to India and sees the same old man on the same spot, goes to him and asks, "How?"
The old man takes one look at his face and replies, "Scrambled."
Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.
How many white cops does it take to push a black man down a flight of stairs?
None. He fell.
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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You know you're a redneck if your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless."
Doc: "How? Give me an example."
Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
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A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation package we had booked for him:
He was expecting an ocean-view hotel room.
I explained that was not possible since Orlando is in the middle of the state.
"Don't lie to me," he said. "I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
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