My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad.
Ted asked if she was going to use worms.
"No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
Vote:
A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem."
The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?"
The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?"
She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"
Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
Q: Who has the most dangerous job in Transylvania?
A: Dracula's dentist.
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts."
Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Yo mama so stupid that when you told her the mouse on her computer was broken she took it to the vet.
Vote:
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her vibrator went soft.
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.