Best jokes ever

There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote:
has 65.98 % from 686 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Vote:
has 65.97 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
Vote:
has 65.95 % from 1195 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, wife
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers". She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?" To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
One day a fellow came into the bar with a cat, not just any cat, but a mean-looking ginger tom. You could see the scars from across the room. But that wasn't the weirdest thing; a six-foot ostrich - eyes like golf balls, followed them in - a real live ostrich! I asked the man what he wanted. "I'll have a pint of bitter," he said. "A pint of lager for the ostrich and a gin and tonic for the cat." The cat hissed at him. "Make that a double gin and tonic. Thanks." Well, I served the drinks, he paid, and they all knocked 'em back. Wasn't long before the ostrich came back to the bar, and made it clear that it wanted the same again. Well, I poured them. I could feel the cat's eyes burning through me as if he was checking that he got his double again. I took the drinks over to them, and the man paid, taking the cash from a purse tied around the ostrich's neck. This went on for a couple of hours. The man and the ostrich buying alternate rounds, while the cat just sat on the window shelf with his drink, looking fit to kill. The whole place got quiet. People sat and stared, and who could blame them? Eventually, I plucked up the courage to ask the fellow just what was going on. "Can't a man have a quiet drink anymore?" he rasped. So I said, "No harm meant, but you've got to admit that you're a unique set of drinkers. He smiled, but there was no light in that smile. "Okay, you want to know? I'll tell you." "I was across town the other week, working on the new road. Amid the dirt and the rubble, I turned up this old brass lamp. I rubbed it, thinking there might be a date or inscription or something. Anyway, out comes this cloud of smoke and a Genie appeared. You know - turban, scimitar, and the whole works. And he tells me I've got just one wish." "And before you ask, yes, I did wish for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy. But this wasn't what I had in mind."
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, cat, communication, dirty, genie
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: black humor, morbid, tax
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween? A: Tweets!
Vote:
has 65.94 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bird, Halloween, technology
*Girl is crying* Dad: Why you crying? Girl: My boyfriend dumped me! Dad: (Grabs shot gun) I'll be back.. A while later dad comes back Girl: What the hell! why did you go kill him! Dad: I didn't Girl: Where did you go? Dad: To get you icecream :D Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun?! Dad: So I could get it for free!
Vote:
has 65.93 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, women
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote:
has 65.92 % from 410 votes. More jokes about: age, kids, women
<<<465466467468
More jokes →
Page 465 of 1427.