Guy having sex says "damn bitch, there should be a law against sex this good."
To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy..."
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A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
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Only if they had more mosquito nets in Africa.
We would be able to save millions of mosquitos from dying horribly from HIV.
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Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny.
The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was.
Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!"
And fell back to sleep.
A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world.
Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!"
And fell back to sleep.
Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child.
Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
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How can you know a lawyer is lying?
When he moves his lips.
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?
A: The taste
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What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A man's undivided attention.
There are only two kinds of computer.
The latest model, and the obsolete.
A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50.
This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
Yo momma’s so ugly, if you look up ‘ugly’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of her.