Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
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Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.
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Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
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