Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies dead.
When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.