Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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The Grinch didn't really steal Christmas.
He just hired Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas.
They made a deal.
Chuck now owns the shop.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Chuck Norris can get a touchdown in baseball.
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Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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