Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.