Best jokes ever

Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
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Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, love
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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Dear haters, I can't help but notice that awesome ends in ME and ugly starts with U.
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Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
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Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time