Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."