A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer."
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
Yo mama is so fat when she farts its noise is just a nightingale.
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
A new study found that more than 11 million people have quit Facebook in the last three years.
And unfortunately, none of them were your parents.
Two men were shipwrecked on an island.
They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone.
The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders.
The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?"
The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo".
The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo".
The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up.
The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?"
The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death."
The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam.
The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells."
Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
Vote:
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?"
Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
Vote:
Farting in a lift is wrong on so many levels!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all
If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!