Best jokes ever

A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog
Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: relationship, single
Q: How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman? AA By his net income.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: christian, money, tax
A waiter walks up to a table of old ladies eating their lunch and asks, "Is anything OK?"
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, food, mean, old people
To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
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has 65.19 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
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has 65.18 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian
Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, "Nurses are known to be hot to trot." The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, "Telephone operators have sexy voices." The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, "Poor guy, teachers are frigid." The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse's husband. He sourly says, "Don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night was 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary.'" Then, the telephone operator's husband calls and sourly says, "Don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.'" Later that afternoon, the teacher's husband calls and happily says, "When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was 'We are going to do this over and over until we get right.'"
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has 65.18 % from 398 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, marriage, nurse, phone
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, relationship
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