Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "And did he?" "Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Dear haters, I can't help but notice that awesome ends in ME and ugly starts with U.
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.