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Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
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I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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In 1996, Florida physical therapist Paul Shimkonis sued his local nudie bar claiming whiplash from a lap dancer's large breasts. Shimkonis felt he suffered physical harm and mental anguish from the breasts, which he claimed felt like "cement blocks" hitting him. Shimkonis sought justice in the amount of $15,000, which was denied.
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Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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