Best jokes ever

Q: Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar? A: He got Avogadro's number!
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: bar, chemistry, nerd
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
A man is driving his eighteen wheeler down the road, when he sees a hitch hiker. So the trucker stops and picks up the man. While they are driving down the road, the trucker says "Hey man, you wanna see something pretty cool?" The hitch hiker says sure. So the trucker has this monkey in the back, and he makes it come up with the men, and he smacks the monkey up side his head, and the monkey gives him a blow job. So after that, the trucker says "Hey man, do you want some of that?" And the hitch hiker says "Sure, but just don't smack me so hard."
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication, knock-knock
A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, men
One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest. They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives. The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky. The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it. After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently. The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes. After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!" All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?" "Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, fish
To help someone before they commit a crime means you are their accomplice. To help someone after they commit a crime means you are their attorney.
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head? A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
Vote:
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: relationship, single
<<<483484485486
More jokes →
Page 483 of 1427.