The horrible moment when there's a really cute girls on the bus,
but you're too shy to start masturbating in front of everyone...
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
Vote:
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music?
"Because he broke the record."
Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?
Vote:
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working.
He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock.
The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP".
I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?"
A: "Spit and swallow."
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because pets can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Because the blondes couldn't either.
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed?
A: You can't smoke too much weed.
To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm turning my house into an Italian restaurant.