Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though! Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!" Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?" Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
Which month do soldiers hate most? March!
Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.