Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised? Her husband was a blonde too!
Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Yo mama so stupid someone said Christmas was around the corner and she went looking for it.
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Yo mama's so fat, that her MySpace has no space.
Yo mama so ugly that she died of fright when she looked in the mirror.