Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
Q: How did the hail stone describe it's life? A: It really has a lot of ups and downs.
Q: What are the hottest days during summer? A: Sun-days
Q: What game do tornadoes like to play? A: Twister.
There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
Kennen was having a drink in a saloon when his neighbor, Stakely, came rushing in. "Ah think somebody's stealin' yore pickup truck!" the man said breathlessly. Kennan ran outside, but came back right away. "Well, did yew stop him?" asked Stakely. "Naw!" said the redneck. "He was too fast. But Ah got his license plate before he got away!"
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