Best jokes ever

Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: life
Guys, enough with the Asian jokes...they're all the same.
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has 64.77 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
Q: Where's Spiderman's home page? A: On the world wide web.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: internet, technology
A man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at a fast-food restaurant. He noticed that they had ordered just one meal, and as he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries until each had half of them. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would let him buy another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared 50-50.” The young man asked the wife if she was going to eat, to which she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn to use our teeth.”
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: food, marriage, old people
Q: How do you kill an emo? A: You don't you let depression do the work.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, work
As a child, I was afreid of ghosts. As I grew up, I realised people are more scary.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, ugly, vulgar
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