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Chuck Norris doesen't fly, gravity collapses around him.
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Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job? A: Because it was soda pressing.
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When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" "He's an embalmer."
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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