Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
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has 64.05 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she asked if her drug test was multiple choice.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: drug, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: food, husband, ugly, vulgar, wife
Before America can declare war, congress has to ask Chuck Norris.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in. A: A worm.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: With a knife.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor
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