Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.
Yo' Mama is like marijuana everyone does her, but no one admits it.
There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days.
It's called Monday.
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Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
getting ready to stone a prostitute that had been caught in the act. Jesus said, "Let the first stone be thrown by someone who has never sinned"
Suddenly, a rock comes flying over the crowd. Jesus turned, looks and then comments. "Mother!!"
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2 cannibals having dinner.
1st says to 2nd, "Your wife makes a lovely stew."
2nd answers, "Yes but I will miss her."
A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp.
When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.."
The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area."
"Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..."
The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?"
The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news.
The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge.
The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.”
The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50.
The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.”
“No, you have to take it,” says the blonde.
“I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together?
A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
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