Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.
Yo mama is so stupid she married a carpenter just to get nailed.
An old man and old woman got married and went on their honeymoon. They were in bed getting ready to have sex for the first time and the old woman said, "I should tell you I have acute angina." The old man says, "I hope so. You sure don't have cute tits."
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.
If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.