You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said...
'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back.
A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!"
The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym?
A: Curls.
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common?
A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
Vote:
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
Vote:
When you are in Hospital, your friends ask: "Hey, how are you dear?"
But your best friend ask: "Hey buddy, how is the nurse?"
Vote:
What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.
Vote:
There is a man who goes out drinking all the time and comes home very later every night.
So one night his wife decides to teach him a lesson.
She dresses up like Satan, and decides to hide in the dark, and scare him when he gets home.
The man comes home, and his wife jumps out and screams in his face.
He just looks at her and says, ”You don’t scare me I am married to your sister!”’