Best jokes ever

Did I tell you the joke about my dick? Never mind its too long.
Vote: has 65.64 % from 323 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Your momma so fat... She can't even fit in the chat room.
Vote: has 65.63 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office. But she belonged to someone else... One day, Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a Ł100 if you let me have sex with you." But the girl said, "NO." Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up." She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for Ł200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down." So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his girlfriend to call. Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened. She responded, "The bastard used coins!"
Vote: has 65.61 % from 169 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that. After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling". The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?", the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"
Vote: has 65.58 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny
Did you hear the NFL is changing the color off the football to green? Yeah, you ever hear of a black person droping a watermelon?
Vote: has 65.58 % from 111 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist, soccer, sport
What do you call a old snowman? Water.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
What Liberals & Conservatives Generally Do In Certain Situations If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't` eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy. If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good. If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, jewish, kids, priest, racist
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Vote: has 65.56 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, sport