Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris can stand at the bottom of a bottomless pit.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex? A: They're both very rare.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman. The man says "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. "We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. " "Right, Darlin." The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: couple, family, redneck, relationship, travel
So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: life, sex
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work. To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
Vote:
has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: IT
<<<506507508509
More jokes →
Page 506 of 1425.