Best jokes ever

I bet my friend $5 that he would drown in the lake. A bittersweet victory.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, money
After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?" After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor". The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair". Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news". The doctor replies, "He's dead".
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, ginger
Yo' mama is so bald, when she wears a turtleneck it looks like a busted rubber.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ugly, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she don't take pictures, she takes posters.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Women are just like fine wine. I only like the white ones.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, white people, wine, women
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Yo Momma is so hairy, that Bigfoot tried to take her picture!
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, terrorist
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, IT, work
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head. The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, democrat, doctor, political