Best jokes ever

Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, hipster
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, medical
Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant? A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, money, old people, work
Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer. "You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said. The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, hunting, time
Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is like marijuana everyone does her, but no one admits it.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp. When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.." The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area." "Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..." The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?" The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, money
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, ginger
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