Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
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Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
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Avatar's were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a smurf.
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Yo Mommas teeth are so yellow I can't believe it's not butter.
Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
"Didja hear the news?" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon.
"Harrigan drank so much, his wife left him!"
"Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!"
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"
Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
Yo mama so fat, she leaves stretch marks in the tub.