Best jokes ever

My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her. "...........dishes."
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One day a black white and Asian got arrested but the cop said if u can say green pink and yellow in a sentence, then u won't go to jail. The black didn't know what to say so he went to jail. The white said "well white guys are pink....." but the cop said wrong order so he went to jail. So the Asian guy said "well the phone go Green green so i pink up the phone and say yellow"
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More jokes about: life
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire? Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.
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More jokes about: IT, programmer, technology
In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
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More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Where do Russian cows come from? Moscow.
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More jokes about: animal
ChuckNorris.com. Don't go there. It's like the United States of Chuck Norris... No one has been there and lived to tell the tale.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
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More jokes about: kids
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like? Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
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More jokes about: animal, math