Best jokes ever

Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote: has 65.56 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, dirty
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
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More jokes about: music, sport
Which month do soldiers hate most? March!
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.53 % from 396 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, military
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
If the world population was made into a sweater, where would the black people be put? In the hood!
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist
Did you hear about Ku Klux Kineivals latest stunt? He is going to try to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
Vote: has 65.52 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
Vote: has 65.52 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, teacher
Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dating, weather