Yo' Mama is like marijuana everyone does her, but no one admits it.
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together?
A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
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Doctor (to the patient: "Did I not give you the medicine yesterday? Did you take it?"
Patient: "Yes, sir. But I did not drink it."
Doctor: "Why?"
Patient (Pointing to the bottle): "Because it is written on the label: 'Close the cork tightly and keep it in a cool place.'"
The nose drops „Big smeller" – let´s have a blow-out.
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn.
He goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says, "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We're here to destroy your civilization, pillage and burn. What do you think about that?"
The owner replies, "I don't have an opinion. I'm a chartered accountant."
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Q: What's a shy and retiring accountant?
A: An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.
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Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer.
"You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said.
The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods.
At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice.
Except for Chris Brown.
Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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