Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the Government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax? A: After it reaches 95%