Best jokes ever

So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
Vote: has 67.77 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.
Vote: has 67.75 % from 614 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, white people, work
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, "What’s happening?" The runner replied breathlessly, "A lion has escaped from the zoo." "Oh my, which way is it heading?" "Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do you?"
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, management
Yo mama is so stupid that when she got locked up in the supermarket she starved to death.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
There was a vampire who sucked people's blood for many centuries. God was very angry at the vampire and said to him, "You're going to hell!" The vampire fell to his knees and said, "God, I beg of you, give me one more chance to be good." God agreed. Then the vampire said, "I want to be light, fluffy, and white like a cloud." "That seems easy enough," replied God. "I would also like to have wings like an angel." "OK," replied God. Since God had said yes to all his requests, the vampire decided to ask for a very greedy request. "God, if possible, could you let me suck a little blood?" "Sure," replied God, "but only once a month." And he turned the vampire into a maxi pad with wings.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, god
Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, stupid
A woman is learning how to golf. She has been teaching herself to play for more than three months and she is really bad. She decides to consult a golf pro. When she sees the golf pro, she explains how bad she is and he tells her to go ahead and hit the ball. She does. The ball goes about 50 yards into the brush slicing to the right. The golf pro says to the woman, "I can see that you have a lot of problems. Your stance is bad, your head is all over the place, and the worst thing is that grip." When she asks what can be done to fix the situation, he suggests, "Grab the club gently, as if you were grabbing your husband's "club". When the feeling is right, go ahead and swing. "She does just that and the ball goes off the tee perfectly straight for about 275 yards." The golf pro says to the woman, "That is unbelievable, I didn't think you would do that well. But now on to your next problem. How are we going to get that golf club out of your mouth?"
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport