Best jokes ever

I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work. To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: IT
Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
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has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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has 64.51 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: catholic, disgusting, jewish, wife
What's long and hard on a black guy? Third grade.
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has 64.51 % from 432 votes. More jokes about: black people
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
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has 64.50 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, kids, priest, racist
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
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has 64.47 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
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has 64.47 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
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