Best jokes ever

Yo mama's so poor when I went to her house and asked to use the bathroom, she said "Two trees to your left."
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.” Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked. Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.” And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates “Who was the first man?” asked Peter. “Adam.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along. “Where did Adam and Eve live?” ”Eden.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother Theresa came along. “Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?” “Mmm, that IS a hard one.” “Enter.”
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, heaven
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, racist
100 black people on the moon. That's a problem. 1,000 black people on the moon. That's a problem. 10,000 black people on the moon. That's a problem. 1,000,000 black people on the moon. That's a problem. 100,000,000 black people on the moon. That's a problem. 1,000,000,000 black people on the moon. That's a problem. All of the black people on the moon. Problem solved.
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world.
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
Q: What do you call a flying Jew? A: Ashes.
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish