Best jokes ever

Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
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has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath not a problem.
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has 63.67 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, old people
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while before I get hard again, I just got laid by a chick.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?' His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?' Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dad, money
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were stuck on an island for many, many years until one day they found a magic lamp. They rubbed it hard and out popped a genie. He said that he could only give three wishes so since there were three girls, each would get one wish. The redhead went first. "I hate it here. It is too hot and boring. I want to go home!" "Okay," replied the genie. And off she went. Then the brunette went. "I miss my family, my friends and relatives. I want to go home, too!" And off she went. The blonde started crying and said, "I wish my friends were back here!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys. They ran around in the garden and played tag. She later climbed the tree that was in her garden. Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties." She laughed and she laughed. She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde
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