Yo mama's so poor when I went to her house and asked to use the bathroom, she said "Two trees to your left."
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
Vote:
After a recent football game, the team went into the locker room to get out of their uniforms and to shower.
In the showers, Bubba noticed that Duke has a cork shoved up his butt-hole.
So, Bubba asked, "Duke, why in the world do you have a cork up your butt?"
Duke answered, "Last night when I was cleaning my antique brass lamps, a genie came out of one of them. The genie said that I had one wish. I was really startled and I replied, "No shit!"
Vote:
Your mama so fat, that she can use herself as a bowling ball and get 10 strikes in all of the lanes!
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse.
Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter.
When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell.
He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart.
He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Q: You know that awesome feeling, when you finally understand math?
A: Me neither.
My friend thinks that onion is the only fruit that can make us cry.
So I just threw the coconut up to his head, he cried then.
Vote:
Only 3 things that are infinite
1.Human Stupidity
2.Universe
3.WinRar Trial
Yo' Mama is so fat, local night clubs had to put up signs that read, "Maximum Occupancy: 240 or Yo' Mama."