Yo mamma so fat she walked into the upside down and it immediately turn right side up-
Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg?
Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
Vote:
Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same.
Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
Vote:
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
Yo mama so fat when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
"My wife drives like thunder."
"So fast?"
"No, every minute she strikes a tree."
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar.
The bartender says "What will it be?"
The sandpaper goes "Just something to take the edge off"
Vote:
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash.
"Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused.
"Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..."
"I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!"
"And what am I?" asked the skunk.
"Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..."
"Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.