Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf. She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?” The clerk replies, “That is a thermos.” The blonde then asks, “What does it do?” The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.” The blonde says, “Oh! I could use something like that! I’ll take it!” The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos, “I just got this yesterday, isn’t it wonderful! It’s a thermos and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!” The boss asks, “And what do you have in it?” The blonde replies, “Some coffee and a popsicle.”
A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, “What do I do now? I’m almost out of typing paper.” “Just use the copier machine paper,” replied the other secretary. With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.