Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Yo mamma so fat she walked into the upside down and it immediately turn right side up-
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you.
Yo mama so fat when Dracula bit her he said "1 diabete, 2 diabete, 3 diabete".
"My wife drives like thunder."
"So fast?"
"No, every minute she strikes a tree."
A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar.
The bartender says "What will it be?"
The sandpaper goes "Just something to take the edge off"
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Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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