Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat?
A: Because he rode the range.
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? "
Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist:
"Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse."
The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy."
The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."
An old man was accounting manager in a company.
Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back.
After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died.
After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
Vote:
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's.
What a clown!
Vote:
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
Q:Why is a doctor always calm.
A: Because it has a lot of patients.
Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow?
Well, it’s tomorrow.