Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"
Yo Momma's so fat when she takes a bath she fills the tub then turns on the water.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.
Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers.
Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done.
Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.
Drunk guy gets pulled over.
Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him.
The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence."
So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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Q: How do pirates make their money?
A: By hook or by crook!
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Yo mamma so fat she walked into the upside down and it immediately turn right side up-
Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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