Drunk guy gets pulled over.
Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him.
The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence."
So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash.
"Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused.
"Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..."
"I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!"
"And what am I?" asked the skunk.
"Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..."
"Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
Yo Momma's so fat when she takes a bath she fills the tub then turns on the water.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"
Eminem says "I'm not afraid".
Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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