Best jokes ever

A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. The bartender says "What will it be?" The sandpaper goes "Just something to take the edge off"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: bartender, communication
A skunk and a rabbit were running through the woods and accidentally they collided with each other. They both got amnesia from the crash. "Who am I? What am I?" said the rabbit confused. "Well, you're one such... with a short tail, long ears..." "I guess!" shouted the rabbit, "I'm a rabbit!" "And what am I?" asked the skunk. "Ah! Yes. You're one such hairy, smelly, with a strip in the middle..." "Wow!", yelled the skunk, "Probably I'm an ass!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Grandma: "Why is that dumb piece of cotton candy talking." Me: "Grandma, thats Nikki Minaj."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Drunk guy gets pulled over. Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him. The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence." So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, drunk
A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks: "Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?" Offended the Asian man replies: "What you think that just because I'm asian I know martial arts?" The man replies: "Nah its because you're drinking my f*cking bourbon"
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What Not to Say to a Policeman: I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize I was driving. Wow, you must've been doing about 125 mph to keep up with me! I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? You look just like my girlfriend's deadbeat ex-husband. The question is do YOU know why you pulled me over? I was trying to keep up with traffic, and it's miles ahead of me. If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not going to tell you, dude. It wasn't my fault -- when I reached down to roll this joint, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the brake pedal. That's a sweet 9mm. You want to hold my .44 magnum? If I'd known I was getting a full body cavity search, I would have waxed!
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: cop
If life hands you lemons, break out the tequila!
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life
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