Best jokes ever

A man comes home alone from work. Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas." He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok! He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas. The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!" He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black! He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus" 21 RED! And then the voice goes "Damn!"
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: game, money, time, travel, work
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life
Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: mean
Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5. The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes. I think I have lost a £5 note. Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No. I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today. You make 72.’
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist: "Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse." The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, horse, marriage, money
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde
Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: driving, fat, Yo mama
<<<512513514515
More jokes →
Page 512 of 1426.