Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's. What a clown!
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.
Q: Why did the cowboy get a hot seat? A: Because he rode the range.
A man comes home alone from work. Suddenly he hears this voice saying: "Now its time to quit your job, sell your house, take your money and go to Las Vegas." He doesn't pay much attention to it but after a week hearing the same voice, he thinks ok! He quits his job, sells his house, withdraws all his money and goes to Vegas. The moment he steps out of the plane the voice tells him "Find the nearest casino!" He enters a casino and the voice says: " Go to the roulette-table and put all your money on 17 black! He complies and the croupier spins the wheel and says "Rien ne va plus" 21 RED! And then the voice goes "Damn!"
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.
What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.