Best jokes ever

Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
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More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap." The other man says, "Who?" The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
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More jokes about: disgusting
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
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More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore. As they climbed the gangway, the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above, him he shouted, "Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting!" The following morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days and asked the chief mate why. "Well Sir, when we got you undressed we found that he'd also took a dump in your pants."
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More jokes about: military
Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If the world population was made into a sweater, where would the black people be put? In the hood!
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More jokes about: black people, racist
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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More jokes about: dirty
How can yo tell if a black has been on you're computer? It's not there...
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More jokes about: black people, computer, racist
My wife wanted me to whisper dirty things to her. "...........dishes."
Vote: has 66.31 % from 218 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, wife
So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the offering basket is passed, he drops in a big wad of bills. When the basket gets back to the minister, he notices the wad of money and announces: "Someone here was very generous in the offering today. I would like to ask the person who gave this large amount of money to please stand." The gay man stood up. The minister continued, "Well, sir, we certainly do appreciate your generosity. And to show our appreciation, I'm going to let you select your three favorite hymns." "Okay," the gay man replied, "I'll take him, him and him!"
Vote: has 66.27 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay