Best jokes ever

I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
Vote: has 67.64 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, sex
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Vote: has 67.62 % from 146 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: light bulb, men
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
Vote: has 67.62 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Vote: has 67.61 % from 1203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work
If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming. The second one would say its racist. The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.
Vote: has 67.57 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, light bulb, political, racist
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
Vote: has 67.53 % from 166 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Why is life like a box of fruit? Because when they go bad, they go black!
Vote: has 67.52 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
Vote: has 67.52 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, dirty
A man buys a pet parrot and brings him home. But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really nasty, so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness." The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you." The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
Vote: has 67.52 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, parrot
I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.
Vote: has 67.50 % from 253 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay, kids