A blonde, brunette, and redhead are all on a building about to jump off.
They all jump at the same time.
Which one landed last?
The blonde because she asked for directions.
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above:
"Saul, sell your business."
He ignores it. It goes on for days.
"Saul, sell your business for $3 million."
After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store.
The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas."
He asks why.
"Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas."
He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand."
He hesitates but knows he must.
He’s dealt an 18.
The dealer has a six showing.
"Saul, take a card."
What?
The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him.
Saul gets an ace.
Nineteen.
He breathes easy.
"Saul, take another card."
What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card.
It’s another ace.
He has twenty.
"Saul, take another card," the voice commands.
I have twenty!
Saul shouts.
"TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice.
Hit me,Saul says.
He gets another ace.
Twenty one.
The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"
How I see math word problems:
If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Knock-knock
Who is there?
A shattered penis with many diseases.
What kind of illness?
Gall, Aids, Gonorrhea, Syphilis...
Enough, it is the best present for my mother in law.
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Joke has 63.58 % from 608 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, knock-knock, mother in law, vulgar
Warning ladies!
Never trust a man who calls you "SEXY".
This is why. When he removes the letter 'Y' it means you're down for "SEX". After sex, he will remove the letter "S" and start calling you his "EX".
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island.
The redhead swims half way and drowns.
The brunette swims half way and drowns too.
The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men?
A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
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