Best jokes ever

How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, time, women
The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication
Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: pirate, winter
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, blonde
A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5. The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes. I think I have lost a £5 note. Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No. I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today. You make 72.’
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: money
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: men
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, insulting, Yo mama
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
Always be yourself! Unless you can be Batman - then always be Batman
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: life
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