A lawyer is paid £950 in new bills but, on counting the money, he discovers that two notes have stuck together and he’s been overpaid by £50. This leaves him with an ethical dilemma – should he tell his partner?
If you make a cow angry, how will she get even? She'll cream you.
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!" Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie.
Yo momma’s so ugly, if you look up ‘ugly’ in the dictionary, there’s a picture of her.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”