Yo momma's so fat when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips.
Yo Mama's just like peanut-butter...she spreads for bread !
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Q: What is a blondes' reaction to hearing "drinks are on the house". A: Where's the stairs.
Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow? Well, it’s tomorrow.
What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5. The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes. I think I have lost a £5 note. Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No. I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today. You make 72.’
I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.