Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
Chuck Norris can travel through time by running 88 miles per hour.
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention. The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?" The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."