Best jokes ever

One day this little girl’s dad came home and she runs up to him. “Daddy, the cat died today!” “Well, darling,” said the dad. “That’s just something that happens.” “But why are his arms and legs up in the air?” “Well, darling, that’s just something they do.” She takes the death fairly well and doesn’t mention it until a few days later. When the dad comes home, she runs up to him. “Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today!” “What are you talking about?” “I came downstairs and I heard her screaming ’Oh Jesus, take me, take me!’ And she had her arms and legs up in the air and if it hadn’t been for the mailman trying to revive her she would have died.”
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: cat, dad, death, kids
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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has 63.61 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
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has 63.59 % from 467 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, school
Knock Knock Who's there? Muffikin Muffikin who? Muffikin fingers are trapped in the door.
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has 63.58 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock
Two blondes were talking together: First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?" Second: "He isn't just now my engaged." First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!" Second: "He is now my husband!"
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has 63.58 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, husband, stupid, ugly
A redhead, a blonde and a brunette were stuck on an island and had to get back home from the island. The redhead swims half way and drowns. The brunette swims half way and drowns too. The blonde swims halfway gets tired and swims back.
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has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: blonde, desert island, redneck, sport, stupid
What did one Christmas tree say to the other? You've got a lot of balls walking in here dressed like that.
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has 63.57 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: Christmas
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
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has 63.55 % from 298 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, money, morbid
Which month do soldiers hate most? March!
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has 63.54 % from 1174 votes. More jokes about: military
Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...
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has 63.52 % from 469 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, knock-knock, vulgar
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