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Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
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A very caring sentence written on the T-Shirt of a girl walking on the road. "You are not looking at the road right now, please be careful."
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Q: What is an atheist's favorite Christmas movie? A: "Coincidence on 34th Street"
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Alcohol doesn't make you FAT... it makes you LEAN... against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people!
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Chuck Norris abducts aliens.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxipad.
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I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
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Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
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More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work