During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!"
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
What two things in the air can make a woman pregnant? Her feet.
Q: What is the most confusing day in Harlem? A: Father's Day.
Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history? Hitler.
What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room? 100 people that don''t do dick!
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black? Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man?
A blonde, a red head, and a brunette were on a plane. The red head takes a bite of an apple doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The brunette takes a bite out of an orange doesn't like it she throws it out the window. The blonde takes a bit of a bomb doesn't like it she throws it out the window. They get out of the plane. They come up to a little boy asks why he is crying! he says "An apple fell on my dog and killed my dog." They keep walking and come up to a little girl and asks why she is crying. She says" An orange fell on my cat and killed my cat." They keep walking. They come up to a blonde laughing her head off. "Why are you laughing so hard?" they said. "When I farted the building blew up!"
When I was young my sister used to play with dolls and I played with soldiers, now we do it the other way round.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.