Chuck Norris can make a slinky go upstairs.
Jesus said to John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." He came fifth and received a toaster.
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
AT WORK, Michael: Why you white guys always so happy? Casey: Because I make love to my wife every morning before work. Michael: Say whaaat? You get her to make love EVERY morning? How do you do that? Casey: It's easy, I just say a poem, women love poems and will fall for them all the time. Michael: Ok, what kind of poem can you say to make her make love every morning? Casey: I say, "blonde hair, blonde hair, eyes of blue, I love to wake up and make love to you. Michael: HAHAAA she falls for that? Casey: yes you should try it. NEXT DAY TYRONE COMES IN WITH BLACK EYE FAT LIP AND A TOOTH MISSING. Casey: What happened to you? Michael: Well, I said a poem to my wife and she didn't like it. Casey: She didn't like it? What did you say? Michael: Nappy head, nappy head, eyes like a frog, if I could roll your fat ass over I would do you like a dog.
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game... While using a golf ball.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.