Best jokes ever

A couple have been dating for a few weeks, but the guy has been afraid of making advances because he thinks his penis is on the small side. Finally, he gets up his courage and takes her down lovers’ lane. While they’re kissing, he opens his trouser zip and guides her hand onto his organ. ‘No thanks,’ says the girl. ‘I don’t smoke.’
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has 64.19 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am." The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."
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has 64.17 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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has 64.14 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
A haggard old lady rides in a fancy hotel's elevator. On the second floor, a beautiful woman steps on and arrogantly says to the old lady, "Georgio, $100 an ounce." On the next floor, an equally beautiful women steps on and says, "Chanel, $150 an ounce." The old lady's floor approaches and as the doors open, she bends over, farts and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound."
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has 64.13 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, money, women
What does it mean when you see a bunch of black men running in one direction? "A Jail break"
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has 64.12 % from 524 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison
Chuck Norris doesn't beat around the bush, he beats up the bush.
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has 64.10 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
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has 64.09 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: age, dinosaur, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
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has 64.09 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: kids
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ? A: Duck.
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has 64.09 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: military
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