Best jokes ever

Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
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I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment about their mustache, and suddenly she is not your friend anymore...
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More jokes about: life
Yo momma so black Batman came and said damn b*tch I thought I was the dark night.
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More jokes about: black people, celebrity, insulting, Yo mama
Yo mama's so poor when I went to her house and asked to use the bathroom, she said "Two trees to your left."
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I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
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More jokes about: life
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
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Womens are like computer virus... they ENTER your life... SEARCH your pocket... SHIFT your balance ... CONTROL your life... when you become an old version DELET you from the system
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More jokes about: computer, IT, life, money, women
Yo mama is so old in her time Burger King was know as Burger Prince.
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More jokes about: age, food, Yo mama
A blonde and her boyfriend are going through they're daily routine in the bathroom when there's a knock at the door. The boyfriend who is in the shower tells the blonde to go answer the door. The blonde puts on a towel and goes to the door. A man is standing there, and says "Hey hun, do me a favor." "What?" askes the blonde. "Drop the towel and I'll give you $500!." replied the man. The blonde drops her towel and jiggles her tits for the man at the door. "Thanks, a ton hun, i'll catch you later" says the man and he hands her the $500. The blonde walks back smilling to her boyfriend who had just got out of the shower. As he steps out, he says "Hey hun? I just thought I'd let you know John will be stopping by to pay me back that $500 he owes me!"
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An old lady was very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away. She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband. The instant she saw him she started crying. The mortician walked over to comfort her. Through her tears she explained that she was upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his fervent wish to be buried in a blue suit. The mortician apologized and explained that traditionally they always put bodies in a black suit, but he’d see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the funeral parlor to have one last moment with Albert before the funeral the following day. When the mortician pulled back the curtain, she managed a smile through her tears as Albert was resplendent in a smart blue suit. She said to the mortician, “Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful suit?” “Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit,” the mortician replied. “His wife was quite upset because she wanted him buried in the traditional black suit.” Albert’s wife smiled at the undertaker. “After that,” he continued, “it was just a matter of swapping the heads.”
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More jokes about: death, husband, old people