A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day.
“My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said.
“Who is this speaking,” said the secretary.
"This is my father!”
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Vote:
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
What's the difference between a black and a white fairytale?
White begins, "once upon a time," black begins, "y'all motherfuckers ain't gonna believe dis shit!"
Vote:
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
It gives me a solution to this whole inner city gang problem that we seem to be having.
I just got to get some people behind me, right?
I think we need about 20 or 25 grandmothers, give them all belts and do one big drive-by whupping on these kids.
Yo' Mama is so skinny, she uses dental floss for toilet paper.
Yo Momma's so fat she sank the Titanic!
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom."