It gives me a solution to this whole inner city gang problem that we seem to be having.
I just got to get some people behind me, right?
I think we need about 20 or 25 grandmothers, give them all belts and do one big drive-by whupping on these kids.
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
We're watching Shrek as a family and at the moment when Fiona turned from a woman into an ogre, my 2yo pointed to the TV and said "now she's a mom."
Yo' Mama is so skinny, she uses dental floss for toilet paper.
Judge: "You are sentenced to 2 years of solitary confinement"
Me: "Thank you."
Vote:
Yo Momma's so fat she sank the Titanic!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Déja.
Déja who?
Knock knock.
Vote:
Yo mama so old she used a walker when Jesus was born.
What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?
After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.
Vote:
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!”
Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.”
She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”