Chuck Norris doesn't even have to bid in an auction to win it.
Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Nations fight other nations but wouldn't have balls enough to go toe-to-toe with Chuck Norris. Remember Atlantis?
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.