Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
Chuck Norris can swim and skydive at the same time.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Jokes about Chuck Norris are not funny, but all are afraid not to laugh.
Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.