Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris beat a brick wall at tennis.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.
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R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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