Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep.
Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.
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What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Chuck Norris came first.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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Chuck Norris named his parents.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear sunscreen, the sun wears Chuck Norris-screen.
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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
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Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
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An ancient Chinese prophecy states that a man will be created to protect the lands from all evil.
Chuck Norris killed that man.
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The only sure things are Death and Taxes…and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS, they'll be the same thing.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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