My grandmother used to tell us a joke.
She'd say "Knock knock."
We'd say "Who's there?".
Then she'd say "I can't remember" and start to cry.
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Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!
"I have the body of an athlete."
"Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
I'll be honest.
I did not graduate at the top of my class.
In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
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Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking at the apple juice for few days cause it says "concentrate".
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.