In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister.
The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me?
I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming.
She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back."
Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed.
Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession.
"Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable.
I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex."
Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation.
Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do.
So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?"
In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?
Have you ever tried to take a rib from a black man?
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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Q: What did one math book say to the other?
A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present.
When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video.
He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video.
On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k.
He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough.
Then she turns to the camera.
"Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Yo momma so poor...
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.