"I have the body of an athlete."
"Better give it back. You're getting it out of shape."
I'll be honest.
I did not graduate at the top of my class.
In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
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Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Yo mama is so stupid, she was looking at the apple juice for few days cause it says "concentrate".
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.