Best jokes ever

If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
What do you get when you mix a nigger and an octopus? I don't know, but it picks the hell out of cotton
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More jokes about: black people, racist
A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer." The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. "Hey boss" he says, "there's a horse in the bar asking for a beer." The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies "Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don't know the price of beer." So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer. "You know," says the barkeep, "we don't get many horses around here." To which the horse replies, "At these prices I'm not surprised."
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More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, horse, money
A blind man and his dog walks into a bar and the blind man starts swinging hid dog around the barman says, "What are you doing?" A blind man replies, "Nothing I'm just looking around!
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More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
Girl: “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” Mother: “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” Girl: “My homework.”
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More jokes about: school
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
Vote: has 65.14 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner? So they can take bubble baths.
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More jokes about: black humor
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Greek, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Greek.
Vote: has 65.11 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, heaven, money, racist
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
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More jokes about: disgusting
How do you hide a nigger in a coal shed? Kick his teeth in.
Vote: has 65.08 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, racist