Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
The Sun is shining, what a beautiful day!
It would be a pity not to sit this day in a pub by the window though.
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.
Q: What did the basketball say to the player?
A: Please don't shoot me.
Vote:
Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.
Vote:
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't.
Look at their oddball requests:
A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard.
A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german.
A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.
A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Vote:
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Vote:
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.