When everyone else can't, Chuck Norris CAN.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"