Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?"
Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?"
Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
Doctor to woman: "What is the matter about your husband?"
Woman: "He is worrying about MONEY."
Doctor: "I think I can relieve him of that."
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
The Sun is shining, what a beautiful day!
It would be a pity not to sit this day in a pub by the window though.
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Vote:
Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
Vote:
Q: What is astronauts favorite game in space?
A: Moonopoly.
Vote:
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?
Reptiles.
My grandmother used to tell us a joke.
She'd say "Knock knock."
We'd say "Who's there?".
Then she'd say "I can't remember" and start to cry.
Vote:
Yo mommas so poor the roaches pay the light bill!