Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist? A: Someone dented her car.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
Yo Momma so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder. " The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Your mama so ugly when god was making light he told her to step out the way.
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Tornadoes have sirens to warn them when Chuck Norris is coming.
Yo mama so fat that when she works out too long she starts sweating cooking oil.