The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
My life may be a mess but I know the difference between "Your" & "You're"-
Yo' Mama is so nasty, it sounds like Velcro when she takes her panties off.
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Chuck Norris can see ultra-violet light.
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn't have the guts!
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.