Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.
Vote:
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't.
Look at their oddball requests:
A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard.
A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german.
A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck.
A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty sit on the wall?
A: Because he wanted a photograph with Pink Floyd!
Q: And why did Humpty Dumpty have a big fall?
A: Because Pink Floyd did not turn up!
The Sun is shining, what a beautiful day!
It would be a pity not to sit this day in a pub by the window though.
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Yo momma so poor...
When I visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a Rat tried to steal me wallet.
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.