What do you spell if you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris's name. Nothing, because you can't mess with Chuck Norris.
A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for protection.
Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
A man was robbing a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dumbass named you Moses?" "The same dumbass who called his rottweiler Jesus."
What a woman says… This place is a mess! C’mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now! What a man hears… blah blah blah blah blah C’MON! YOU AND I blah blah blah blah! blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!
In "ring around the rosie", Chuck Norris does not fall down.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.