Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Vote:
has 63.49 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag? Twix...
Vote:
has 63.46 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
I was walking home last night when I noticed an old drunk staggering along the road. He passed a woman who was walking a young child. "Lady", said the drunk, "that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. Damn, that is one ugly child!." As the drunk wandered off, the lady burst into tears. Just then, a mailman came to her rescue. "What's the matter, madam?" he asked. "I've just been horribly insulted" she sobbed. "There there," said the mailman, reaching into his pocket. "Dry your eyes with this tissue, and here's a banana for the chimp"
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, food, kids, ugly
Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
After watching the grades of his child, the angry father said, "After seeing your grades, I feel like teaching a lesson or two and want to give a tight slap." The child excitedly says, "Yes dad, lets go, I know the addresses of all my teachers, we must teach them a lesson."
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Why are there no mexicans on star trek? They don't work in the future either.
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: racist
A married couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. While driving home the wife saw a tear coming from her husband’s eye. “Are you happy that we have spent 50 splendid years together?” she said. He said, “No. I was just thinking about our wedding and how your father threatened me with a shotgun that is I didn’t marry you right then he would have me thrown in prison for 50 years. Tomorrow I could have been free!”
Vote:
has 63.45 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
Vote:
has 63.43 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
<<<537538539540
More jokes →
Page 537 of 1427.