Best jokes ever

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?" The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: god, IT
Yo mama's so dumb, she thinks socialism means partying!
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: insulting, party, political, stupid, Yo mama
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, elephant, money
It gives me a solution to this whole inner city gang problem that we seem to be having. I just got to get some people behind me, right? I think we need about 20 or 25 grandmothers, give them all belts and do one big drive-by whupping on these kids.
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: cop, kids
Q: What do you call a very small valentine? A: A valen-tiny!
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has 63.51 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, Valentines day
Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
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has 63.51 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: school, stupid, Yo mama
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex? Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
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has 63.51 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: sex
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