Best jokes ever

Q: Why do Republican tax cuts always expire in ten years or less? A: They want to make them thirty but keep running out of fingers.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: republican, tax, time
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?" "Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, hospital, time
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, family, kids
Q: What exercise do Hairdressers do in the gym? A: Curls.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fitness, gym
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: fitness, flirt, gym, sport
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, science
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, marriage, sex, wife
I may look calm, but in my mind I have killed you three times already.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: life
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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