Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
What’s a man’s definition of safe sex?
Meeting his mistress at least 30 miles from his house.
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.
She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.”
To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous.
When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense.
"Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?"
The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes.
So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch.
"Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
What do you call two niggers in a sleeping bag?
Twix...
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Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
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